I've had them since Christmas last year but never checked the envelopes. Seeing they were dark red, it was necessary to print labels; so that's what I did. Heading for the basement, another screech erupted. "PRINT MY MASTERPIECE!" Done.
I escaped to the post office to pick up mail and check about postage for HER cards. Square, doesn't bend, fat...special handling required...everything by hand...
Arriving home - "SIGN AND MAIL THEM, YOU #!*%! IT WILL TAKE WEEKS FOR DELIVERY! WAAAH!"
So now they're arriving early. That's good, right?