Posted by A on July 30, 2008, 3:24 pm
69.153.134.146
I apologize ahead of time because this may get a little morbid, but how do you cope with this diagnosis? I'm having a tough time with it today for some reason.
I don't know what type I have; I asked my oncologist today, and he said that he hasn't yet gotten my bone marrow biopsy results from the hematologist; therefore, he also doesn't know the percentage of blasts I have or how likely it is turn to into bone marrow failure (the likelier of the two for me, he said). I'm not on any meds right now because he's not sure that they are safe to take during pregnancy. So basically, I am waiting until after the baby is born to look into options. He said today that at that time, we're going to look into "aggressive" treatment options.
Aggressive. I don't want to die. A time that should be happy -- the birth of my baby -- is being turned into the point at which we look into aggressive treatment options. All I can think is that I might not be around to see my baby grow up. Will I make it to my 10-year high school reunion? Will I make it to 30 years of age? Will I be able to celebrate my 10-year wedding anniversary? I'm sorry about complaining because I know from reading some of the posts that, unlike many of you guys (or your family members), I'm not undergoing chemo or treatments, but I'm having a really difficult time today and thought that maybe some of you could relate and possibly help me figure out a way to get past this.
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