Desreal: to entropy;

Aglaeca has never been fortunate enough to care for another; or perhaps cursed enough to do so, to fret for another and worry over their wellbeing. Nor does he worry for himself, or death would be an odd sort of relief for him, and although suicide is far from his mind the prospect of his own demise does not trouble him. His only fears, then, are for others and the damage he might cause them were he placed in too near a vicinity; in an odd way these fears are selfish ones despite the object of them, for it is not so much the actual pain caused to the others as the guilt and horror he then feels for himself. He doesn’t realize this, and I wonder if, were he to make the transition in thought and truly care for another and what might happen to them, if in that way he might finally be saved.

As it is he is especially leery this night, having failed his minor and been given the consequences of it; he is reluctant to even be speaking with someone from another herd and will certainly come no closer to caring for one. Nonetheless, Entropy intrigues him in a way he has not been intrigued for some time, for the dark Friesian represents the horse that Aglaeca could have been – dark and powerful and dangerous and yet, noble somehow, loyal to something, loving of something, with friends and family and rank and honour. He is the horse that can battle without regret and kill without sorrow. Does he feel this need, like my Indomitus, this insatiable hunger for destruction and blood? Or are his warrior tendencies choice and pleasure alone, measured carefully, fulfilled according to the doctrine of the herd – for honour, glory, prisoners? And if his is the same hunger to Aglaeca’s, my stag (for I quite like this title, although perhaps we ought to say the stag with fangs… vampire stag!) wonders how on earth he can be as he is, live amongst them, control himself so very well.

How is it his wrath is so carefully coiled within, rather than unleashed on the first irritating bastard that crosses his path? Where did he learn to temper his temper? Still Aglaeca does not shift his body, open his frame up to the wolf, but his steady gaze is focused and attentive. He says, “Who do you fear for?”

Having no idea, of course, that the object of Entropy’s cares has indeed become something to fear herself.