Posted by slv. ZAKR on September 13, 2008, 4:26 pm, in reply to "Es Brennt; ZAKR"
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OOC: Okay, so like Nat did with Charlie below, I'm going to give you pointers both OOC and IC. Your first effort was good - you have some things to learn, of course, but don't we all? : ) So, the first order of business: you might want to describe your attacks a little more in depth. I want to know exactly where Zilar is; where does he approach from? Left side or right? Front or back? Be very specific; why is this beneficial to Zilar? Why is is detrimental to Zakr? The more clear you are about Zilar's positioning, the easier it will be for the judge to understand your attacks, and the more points you will get! Also, and this is a very small point: avoid such claims as "something was better than nothing..." You want to make the judge (and your opponent) believe that Zilar is the shit! That he's confident and perfect and every move is well-thought-out, calculated, and smart. : )
Zakr watched with keen eyes as Zilar approached, slowly gaining speed. His gaze was level as he trotted towards his student and let Zilar have the first move; he wanted to see what the guy could do. The Silver noticed immediately that Zilar was taller than him by two hands, which could be significant or insignificant, depending on how the battle played out. He also knew that while he had a slight advantage in speed, Zilar was more agile and stronger - should his student choose to play up such advantages, he could have the upper hand easily. Zilar swept past Zakr and he saw his student's weight drop to his forelegs. Zakr spun himself to the left, sweeping his delicate head out of harm's way while Zilar's hooves clipped his shoulder.
"The effort was good," Zakr conceded, "but not the smartest attack. For a buck, it would've been smarter to angle yourself nearly perpendicular to me - that way you can get the most power out of your attack, rather than just grazing my shoulder, as you saw happened just now. Also, a buck is not a good attack to perform mid-stride; it also takes a lot of the power out of the attack because it has to be quick and sloppy.
Remember, you want your attacks to be as damaging as possible; so think of what you can do to get the most power out of an attack that you possibly can. Also, the attack was very predictable; it may have been more effective to come at me from the front, so that way you're nearly in my blind spot when you buck and I have less of a chance of seeing you in time to get away."
Zakr squared himself to face his opponent again, this time watching as Zilar rushed him and threw his weight skyward. Unfortunately, Zakr wasn't going to let him ram into his head and chest, so he leaped to the left, and again Zilar's hooves grazed down the side of his shoulder - this time, it hurt a little. He turned to face his student again, his brown eyes calculating and stoic.
"I can appreciate the balls it takes to rush me head-on," he began, again granting his student a sardonic praise for his effort, "but your attack was far too easy to evade. For an attack like this, I would suggest remaining close to your opponent after your first attack; that way, he has less a chance of escaping you when you move on to your second. By sweeping past me, turning around, and then rushing me again, I have time to think and move. You don't want to give me time to think and move.
Also, attacking towards my chest with your forelegs is unrealistic. What about my head and neck? They are very solid and very real, and very much in front of your target. And I noticed that none of your attacks involved my legs; while they aren't the only parts of the body you can attack, they are prime targets. They are fragile and the skinniest, least-protected part of the body; they also happen to carry all of the weight. Damaging a leg can restrict a lot of attacks on your opponent's part, and can also hinder speed and agility, making it easier for you to attack and evade attacks."
Zakr shrugged; he wasn't used to talking so much. He liked action, rather than words. Suddenly the palomino threw himself towards Zilar, using his advantage in speed to gain ground on his student and perhaps take him by surprise. When Zakr was within a few feet of Zilar's right shoulder he rose, thrusting his chest into the taller horse's shoulder and extending his forelegs. As the palomino dropped to the ground he allowed his hooves to drag down Zilar's right foreleg, hoping to damage the bones and tendons that lay waiting just beneath a thin layer of skin. Sixty percent of a horse's weight is carried on their forehand; therefore, by taking out Zilar's right foreleg, Zakr made any type of forward movement exponentially more difficult for the slightly larger horse. Pivots would be out of the question; bucking would be a fantasy.
Zakr let his weight press into Zilar's pressuring him to either step the left or stumble; he then raised his left hind leg and shot it towards Zilar's right hind leg in a fierce, fast cow kick that could land anywhere from the knee joint to midway down the cannon bone. If Zilar had stepped to the left to absorb Zakr's pressing weight, this leg would be extended, and therefore a very easy target. A cow kick was not the most powerful of attacks, but it could still pack a punch.
Zakr moved away from Zilar, eager to see how his student would defend and if his attacks had, indeed, been successful.
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