Posted by Wolf. on January 10, 2009, 9:41 pm, in reply to "Dear judges:"
67.183.67.X
Playing panic at this disco
like you're some kind of DJ,
Tha Playah and DJ Panic are two artists of Neophyte records, which you can see here. They have two other DJ's besides panic signed to them, as well. :D Neophyte records comes up third when you google neophyte.
First off, you have to know Neophyte Records is even a record company before you even know where to start looking. Secondly, ‘Tha Playah’ pertains to absolutely nothing in this riddle, nor does DJ Panic. I honestly think that if you wanted to use this correctly, that you would have thrown in a clue to look for a record label or something of the like in order for it to flow with the judging rubric. +1 for creative thinking, the relevance is very weak and so is the sense of direction. Next time try to aim closer to your target.
like you're the light at this beach party.
Herd ref.
Works for me, good start. +4
You're way to old for that,
possibly one of Zues' whores.
[+ last line of 'Come on, let's go meet Horus together.']
NAME reference. Petra is an ancient city, and has been under both Hellenic and Egyptian rule. Zues is king of the Hellenic gods, and Horus is the king-on-earth representation of the egyptian gods.
Both yes and no, Petra is an ancient city that has been under both rules however, this is too broad based off of both Zeus and Horus’s reputations. Try to narrow it down next time. +2
Silly dreamer, yank your head
out of those clouds.
Part 1 of history reference: petra's two objectives are to attain a rank in solira, and gain a love-- power and love, two daydream-type-things. Weak, i know.
I have a thing for assertive, feisty tigers,
but don't dare boss me around.
Part two, central history reference: In one of Petra's posts, she makes the following statement:
'Petra was also quite assertive, even as a filly. She was always bossing her brothers and sisters around, occasionally resorting to violence if they failed to adhere to her demands.'
Your history needs to be more stronger and you need to be more direct. It needs to also be more personable. Granted, I’m sure several other steals have been posted with broader subjects for their history references, but this is something that needs to be worked on gamewide. This reference here about tigers can be easily mistaken for several other horses that consider themselves assertive ‘feisty tigers’. Not only that, but it can also be very easily mistaken for a rank when the actual reference to it was too vague. +1, better luck next time and remember to take it more personally when it comes to getting dirt on a player.
<3
8/16, invalid.
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