Posted by Ap. Formaldehyde on November 6, 2008, 4:00 pm All because of you,
99.249.161.109
I haven't slept in so long;
When I do I dream,
Of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore,
Where I can lay my head down;
I'll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out!
One cannot say it is completely unusual for a part of oneself to disintegrate from the depth of existance; to feel as though whole shards of them have been chiselled awry and stolen from them. It is, quite frankly, a common disorder among the majority- it is a difficult task to discover a being whom has not lost their love, parent, friend, or even a grande idea they had held so close to them for too long. Occasionally, one may end up feeling as though they have no ultimate purpose, no reason, no greater good coming from them hanging around on the neck of the land. However, there are also those sincere moments when happiness just has to cloud your sanity, overtake every other emotion for but a moment's breadth, if that. There was a point I myself had come to a short while ago, after coming to terms with my own poisonous mind, about Delilah, and our antagonizing issues. I would not be able to comfortably lay my head down for a sleep for a long while- though my mind denied it, told my heart to stop, the vital organ continued to pump for the beautiful bay mare. Yet, there was a small piece of me that wanted nothing more than to smile, and so smile I did, in a return of the kindly gesture my student had previously portrayed in my direction.
And as for apparitions, well, my own thoughts had dwindled in the face of her beauty- an ugly child she was not born, though perhaps many may believe it. Skylar was far from a ghost, a wraith, for I myself knew a certain obsidian beast that flitted through the night like the phantom he truly was. A hummingbird, perhaps... But what was it that others thought of myself, Formaldehyde? Was I the fatherly wolf, keeping a strict watch over his children, or was I the fussy vixen, scolding her children and becoming extremely paranoid? Something had told me a while back to relax my muscles, as much of my time spent away from the Academy, I held my breath. Waiting for what? The impact? Of what? Maybe a word, a phrase, an actual, physical spike, or a spiteful glare. Something that could push me over the last inch of my sanity.
Smile. Just smile. I had to desist from such catastrophic creatures that floated ghastly through my mind; they were the hounds that continued to hunt my down the trail of my mind. If I did not put them to rest soon, corruption is inevitable. My sense of self has become looser since my predicament with Delilah, and I do not need to harass it any more than it is.
So I smile.
The female's shy voice finally reaches my auditories, which in turn swivelled forwards to assess her voice, to understand its history. It was a simple Hello, but to me, any common word can be so much more intricate, delicate, unique. Every call, every name, every syllable, I enjoy analyzing what my fellows truly mean by what they say- yes, Skylar obviously just meant what she had vocalized, but it was the tone that foretold her uncertainty around me. Not fearful, not nervous, simply inexperienced in the art of Academic life. She strays on with her defined voice, detailing my scent, and just where it comes from.
I added a slight twitch to my smile in a friendly manner, dipping my blue roan head in agreement as I explained, "Indeed. I reside in the crags and fells of the Wolfrange." There was a moment of hesitation before I sighed contentedly, looking around before returning my ink pools to Skylar once more. "Tell me, Skylar: About yourself. What do you fear most in life? Pray tell." Not only was it a curious inquiry, my ink black eyes not betraying my interest in what she had to say, but it was also a management of what I should give to her as an Objective. I had a sudden urge to help the poor girl, assist in making Skylar known. She needed it, it was valuable information I had gleaned from her voice. And I would do all I could.
All because of you,
I believe in angels,
Not the kind with wings;
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place;
I'll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out!
EARTH II
W O L F
EMISSARY
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