Posted by HYPATIA on June 17, 2008, 2:01 am, in reply to "ii. trust me, dear; you're better off this way"
169.229.96.244
"Reserve your right to think,
for even to think wrongly
is better than not to think at all."
This is the Beginning.
It is a whisper through the Academy. It is Water, the beginning of the Element itself. This is where she had found the Diadem, seen it through the eyes of the Reef and Ichor and Amadi. It had been purified here, kept her for eternity, and now it brought Hypatia peace.
Peace because nothing could affect this.
All of time could change around this pond, and it would not move. It would show reflections, dreams, love, but it would not ripple. It would not move and ebb as waves do. It is the Beginning, set it stone and ancient. And she knows why it called her here to see it. Kail had come here, drawn by something only familiars perhaps can hear. He sat before its banks and stared. Hypatia had followed, almost blindly in her need for forgiveness.
Forgiveness from the Reef, forgiveness from Kale, forgiveness from herself. She knew none of these things would come to pass. For how could she explain them? How could they ever be explained?
Time passes around her and she does not notice. She does not move. She had been a statue recently, of flame and Healing, and it had been broken. And here she was again, but her body was quiet, her mind was peaceful. The Academy lulled her into a state of nothingness.
I died for you.
His voice does not shake her out of her reviere. She continues to stare at the Beginning, and at his reflection, as pure in it as the water in its pool. His scar flares across his chest, and how she wishes to know again. But her Fire is quelled, simply by his voice.
I lived for you, too.
And what can she say to that?
Forgiveness is beyond this now. This was a broken promise, the shattering of trust, the separation of a bond. Had it been their Fire and Water that had conflicted beyond them, beyond time? Or had it been her thirst to know?
No. It was beyond even that.
It was the darkness. She had wanted to save him. She had wanted to take him until he only saw the light, only saw the hope, anything but the Darkness that he encapsulated himself in. And again, she failed. For the Darkness not only dwelled within him, it possessed him. In the form of a shard.
She looks at his reflection, her head tilting up to stare at the scar, at his face, as if to memorize every line and trace of his body. She remembers the words slipping from her mouth to Elemmire: Are you his lover? And she wondered if they studied him as much as she had. If they loved him like she had. Because this was not love, for Hypatia did not understand love, this was something deeper, something stronger. She wanted to be his Savior.
And she knew she could never be.
And she is nothing and simple and broken before him. Because he was the only one she could be. Because he had seen through her.
“It’s the Darkness.”
And one tear, the imperfection, turning to flame as it came from her eye and leaving ash in its wake, dropped into the Beginning and rippled across the surface.
Can Water ever live for Fire?
F i re III
THE NAPHTHA
Circle of FIRE
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